If you are a frequent reader of my infrequent posts and stories you will see that I avoid a significant elephant in the room. That’s the elephant of politics.

It’s not that I don’t do politics. Even if a person doesn’t do politics, politics does them in one way or another. It’s more that I find that I’m scared to express opinions. Maybe scared isn’t correct word but it will do for now. Mostly I don’t want to deal with the hassle of right wing, homophobic, fascist, racist twits flooding my inbox.

It’s to do with a comfort of life but also because my opinions are nuanced, layered and open to change. I don’t want to make a statement that in five years is dragged into the light where I was incorrect and I’ve moved on but is still being held up as an example of what a horrible person I am/was.

I live in Scotland; I really like the government we have but I would also vote for independence.

This statement is to so many people an oxymoron their heads might explode. It might drive some people to come to my blog but then it would be less about my awful writing than about my own personal opinions on things.

The other thing is there’s a lot of topics that I am not educated enough to comment on. The BLM movement is an example. I am a white middle class woman in Scotland with no understanding of what it’s like to be a Person of Colour either in the UK or anywhere else in the world. I am in no position to have any opinion other than racism is awful, it should be stamped out. However, I can’t speak for other people and their experience. I can support the BLM movement and I can listen but nothing I read or hear can replace a person’s experience in biased and racist systems.

I keep my politics private; I keep it to myself, I keep it personal.

If after reading this post, you want to unfollow and hate me then that’s your deal and I have far too much of my own stuff to be bothering with yours too.

Suggestion Saturday

I’m trying to start a thing. What I’m doing is suggestion Saturday #suggestionsaturday. You suggest a story and I write it. I’ll probably post them on Story Sunday. So if you’re interested pass it along and lets get this hack writer hacking.

Please feel free to send me suggestions in any way you feel comfortable, you can tweet, DM, Facebook messenger or e-mail. I’m open to all communication and hopefully you and others will send along story suggestions and be happy with the result.

Please help me get this trending.

The Process

I’ve been off from work this week. Not like I can go anywhere, and I can’t do much about the house, so I’ve been writing. Honestly, I’ve been getting more output done in this one week than months before. Mostly this is because I literally can not do anything other than play games, watch tv or write.

I borrowed an old typewriter off my other half and started hitting away at the keys. This seems to be my process. I have a very rough idea of what I want to get out as a story. Then I start writing it out in the barest of bones on the typewriter. Then naturally, I need to transcribe it all onto a word document and as I’m doing so rewrite. I’ve been adding texture and depth to characters that I hadn’t even considered.

Writing out stuff on the typewriter has also helped in that I’ve created characters I really hate and bits of plot that I actually have no idea where they are going to go. It’s interesting. I know how things will end and I knew how things started but getting from point A to point Z if fascinating.

Seems that I may have a process. I didn’t know this was even a thing. Now to get a better typewriter that doesn’t need the ribbon pulled through every twenty words.

Decisions, decisions

Trying to write is hard.

PreviouslyI’ve talked about my novel and what I should do. Honestly, I think that I’ve missed the boat with the one I’ve been working on. So, I’ve decided to shelve the idea and move on to something different.

If feels like a defeat. Not finishing something that I’ve started makes me think that I’ve not got it to actually produce anything.

However, I’ve learned a lot during the previous process. Knowing when to bow out it probably something important. Hitting my head off a metaphoric brick wall is probably not conducive to further creativity.

I’ve also learned how to get my arse in gear and get stuff done.

So now on to the outline and trying to flesh out the whole thing.

In case your were wondering, moving on from weird to Space Opera!

Frustrated at anger

Yesterday I wrote a scathing and immature view of people who do self-promotion etc for their art or product. I had become angry at seeing stuff pushed by people I don’t know for things in which I have no interest.

I am very bloody lucky that I was smart enough to schedule the post and not hit publish straight away.

I am even luckier that I deleted the post this morning after thinking down some of my own arguments in the post. A thing I wish more people would do.

The conclusion I’ve arrived at is, if I’m not interested in or dislike something I can just scroll by, not participate and keep on going. I don’t have to tear down somebody else to feel superior. I just need not engage. This is especially important now when so many artists are operating on such fine margins between paying the bills and being out on the street.

What has gotten me, is the sheer level of irritation and anger. Where does it come from? Jealousy and envy for sure, these people are accomplishing so much more than I ever will during this whole period of my life. Anger that I’m working while my furloughed neighbours can enjoy the time with their families. Anger at people not obeying the rules which will make this whole thing last longer than it should. You name something and I have a passionate view on it.

I have always been a person who is what would be considered hot tempered. What it really is, is more to do with my own failings as a person which I’m trying to change. Primarily driven out of frustration.

That’s what’s going on really, right now. I’m frustrated because of so many things. Mostly about the lack of time to do things or the lack of ability. I am on the fence about my novel. I’m lost when it comes to inspiration. When I do sit down to write, bam! Distraction.

Inspiration is fleeting, that’s why I’m writing nonsense posts. Energy is variable at best. Yes, I know if I exercised, I’d have more energy but trying to balance everything that ensures balanced energy is also a fleeting mistress. The other thing is time. Time for my own stuff is much more limited under lockdown than I imagined it would be.

Having all three elements come together like a magical productivity cake, well that’s just madness.

The frustration continues…..

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