Heat!

It’s hot, oh so very very hot.

I am not designed to deal with anything over 21c and it’s got ten degrees higher than that. It’s been like walking through soup. Actually it’s like walking, sleeping and swimming through soup.

We’ve moved successfully to the new place. We’re also integrating two kittens into the household. The older cat’s are unimpressed with us though.

So what’s been going on?

I had been intending to get more work done but downtime at the moment means that I’m asleep rather than being able to work on my writing.

A few months ago I pestered a good friend and now we’ve got a podcast. You can find it here.

I’m working on my novel, and I’ve got some ideas bouncing around for short stories.

I’ve also set up a Ko-fi page which needs work but if you want to donate to me feel free.

Since things are now settling and the weather is cooling down a little bit I’m aiming to get back into a routine of writing and posting.

If you’ve got anything interesting that you want to share, let me know.

 

What am I doing?

I haven’t been writing. There are a lot of reasons for it but mostly life has been getting in the way. House hunting is exhausting and demoralising. Add on the fun that is trying to keep down a full time job and dealing with chronic pain. Honestly I am exhausted so much now and my mental health isn’t bad but it’s not great.

The funny thing is that I’m missing writing now. I want to get conjuring tales out of the thin air, weaving characters into existence. Not sounding like a pretentious prat when I do these things.

Moral support would be great but since only five people actually read my blog and they’re mostly trying to sell something, that’s probably not going to happen.

Hopefully I’ll have a nice catalogue of stories soon and I’ll have them ready to rock by autumn. That’s the word though, hopefully. Well, here’s to hope.

Can’t Even

There’s been a lot going on lately. Work has ramped up and in some ways become difficult. We’ve also managed to some how get together a deposit so we’re looking at houses, thinking of moving and dealing with mortgage people and solicitors.

Mentally, emotionally and physically I’m exhausted.

One thing that’s been really horrible is the overacting to the smallest problem. Getting unjustifiably angry or upset at the smallest speed bump in the road of the life.

I’ve already looped in with my doctor (yay medication and the NHS) and also looping in with my counsellor.

Still it’s tough to try and focus. Being creative while hailing panic attacks is quite difficult and also frustrating. I want to write but the words aren’t coming.

Inspiration is fleeting.

I am feeling that we’re living in a situation of imbalance. We’re not going forward with anything because we’re in the process of buying a place. We’re our and about every weekend looking at properties which in itself is exhausting.

The flat is a mess too, were in the half packed place waiting for the call to come through for the financials and the property to be approved.

That’s the other problem of course. Everything is out of our hands. We have limited control over the situation and living in perpetual anticipation feeds into the gnawing anxiety.

The solution? Self care, self management, breathing, talking, taking the medication and exercise. My doctor has also told me in no uncertain terms to stop drinking. At least for six weeks.

So yeah, that’s what’s going on and it’s awful. I hate feeling like this and I feel like I’m falling apart.

Hopefully things will settle within the next six months but it’s going to be a hell of a ride.

An Update

I am writing a novel. It’s really hard. I’m having difficulty of course. Focus is a bitch and it’s an elusive one at that.

Every day will be a challenge. It’s not fun at all but it is rewarding. I am still of course working on short stories. I need to build skills, word court and possibly an audience. Getting some better writing habits would be nice too but can’t have everything.

At the moment I feel like I’m being dragged in so many directions and that I want to do so much. However going back to a previous post I need to be a bit more still and stop chasing so many different pursuits.

The problem is that the world os so interesting. Again back to focus and needing some.

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