This is a weird and quite personal post.
The last couple of years have been personally and professionally difficult. Part of that difficulty if the repeated bouncing my head against the wall of professionalism and career.
The other thing has been an issue revolving around questions of spirituality and my personal religious and spiritual philosophy. That’s a whole other post and rant around the subject.
What’s the most strange is since the winter of 2017 I have been finding feathers.
Edinburgh has a lot of birds, now I mean a LOT of birds and that is in no way a bad thing. I’m not a twitcher, but I’ve always had a soft spot for magpies. So, seeing feathers around isn’t uncommon. You see a lot of them around the place.
What’s weird is seeing feathers in strange places. I’d done a ritual to ask, “whatever deity who wants to communicate with me to make themselves known”. Nada, nothing, silence.
Then I started to come across feathers in odd places. Now when I say odd, I mean really odd. The bathroom of my office, on the bus, on the stairway to my flat. These are not placing where one sees a feather. I even found one in my office with no sensible way of it getting there.
So naturally I start to check around what is the symbolism of feathers. What gods are associated with feathers. I found one who is the Polynesian deity of War. I have a feeling that it’s not him trying to say hello. In Christianity feathers represent angels. Again, I am pretty sure that it’s not them. Also, the possibility that a departed loved one is saying “hey I’ve got your back it’s cool”. That makes sense but it’s probably delusional.
The rational sceptical side of me is thinking, that I live in a city with a lot of birds, feathers are all over the place. There is no meaning other than a bird lost a feather it’s been tracked in on somebody or it’s blown in through a window.
The other part of me is looking for meaning in something that may or may not be meaningless.
Why am I talking about this?
Because this is the summary of my thinking and my daily conflict between my rational and irrational my beliefs and my understanding.
Personally, if there is a deity out there that wants to talk, I’d much rather they sent a huge neon sign and said “hey look at this” then working through this weird symbolic code, if there’s anything trying to communicate at all.